A Celebration of a Life
The Divine Mother is my Rock
Day 22
Brandon’s celebration of life service was on January 22, 2017. Close to 500 in attendance. The event center that we chose had tall windows that gave a magnificent view of the Rocky Mountains. Kids, grandkids, and I tucked into a very tacky party limousine to ride together to the service. It was a surreal and solemn experience. There amidst the running lights and spilled champagne smell was some of the most amazing love imaginable. My three sons, my daughter, me, and my grandkids all with tear streaked, wide eyed, broken hearts had no words for each other that would even begin to mend our shattered lives. We drove the scenic route, not wanting to rush the inevitable. As we drove, I stared out the foggy window and saw the barren winter farmland. There in the middle of the field was a giant bald eagle. Standing on the ground, poking around at something he caught for a midday meal. I felt a rush of my son’s spirit flow through the limo. He was there, letting us know that as we all showed up for a most horrendous and trying experience there is a comfort in knowing life goes on. Nature does its thing. Life will go on, and now we had to do our thing. Heal.
“Let’s get there now.” I said to the driver. I did not wish to spend one more moment driving. We sped to the place I would conduct the celebration of my child’s life.
As we approached the venue, cars lined the road, the parking lot overflowed. People walked slowly up the hill ascending to pay their respects to us, to me, and to my son. So many people! We parked in the round drive and were escorted in, avoiding cameras and any sign of the media. We went to the small room usually reserved for the bride and her attendees to ready for weddings. Not today. This room would be where the littlest attendees could hang out during the service. Snacks and juice boxes for their hungry tummy’s. Silly cartoons on repeat, making upbeat sounds as if this were the most normal day. Little children who would grow up and not remember this day. We would.
I shored my reserves to face the task ahead. I was the only one I trusted to honor my son’s life. I would lead the celebration service. It was a fight with his father to agree to a celebration that truly honored how Brandon lived. I made it happen. A divine intervention indeed. I would not have strangers say words about a god my child did not believe in. I would not have strangers saying words of comfort to my family, my friends and Brandon’s community. I would do so. In my way. Brandon urged me on.
Brandon lived love alive. I stood my ground. Two dear women friends stood on each side of me, holding me steady like the shining columns of light from the angel’s message of 111. They took my arms as I took my place in front of the hundreds of forlorn faces staring my way. I don’t remember what I said exactly. I remember I said to hug each other a lot and say I love you often. I led them all in the Hail Mary. The prayer from my childhood religion that held the most honor for the divine Mother was an appropriate one for Her presence was mighty on that day in that place high atop a hill overlooking the Rocky Mountains. Within me and within the group gathered the mother goddess’s unconditional love was fueled. She was there holding me steady as person after person shared incredible stories of my son. He was a true hero and lover of life. He changed lives, made friends, and never let anyone leave his presence without feeling better. That was my son. That is my son.
The eagle, the divine mother, good people, and a mother’s love undenied was how I met myself on that day. All majestic in their own ways, companions to the angels that would guide me forth, reminding that all is well. All is eternally well.
excerpt from 111 Days of Divine Intervention A Mother’s Healing Journey
Notes from today-
If and when divine feminine takes her rightful place, up and out of the oppression and suppression that exists in full force on this planet, and applied to life, it will indeed make the world a more peaceful, healing, sacred, respectful, equal, loving place.
I speak of the Mother Energy of creation that is alive in us all. Mothering, motherhood, mother-love has not been held in respect and reverence for ever so long. But, alas, on my journey I have learned the feminine power to create life, hold it, nurture and care is truly a great power that we are all in need of.
On my journey of motherhood- actually gestating, birthing and raising five humans, and then ushering my youngest into the afterlife, I have continuously railed against the disrespect and found a secret and potent inner sanctuary where I can re-define, re-imagine and then receive the power of feminine. Not woman, or mother per se, but all that animates
Life is from the creative energies of the feminine principle. Without that, we would cease to exist. We are all a part of existence, in a deeply loving and eternal way.
May the love of the eternal mother hold you and be your light during these challenging times.
Love, Mary
